He carefully lifted the last lid and then froze right there on the spot. I watched as his facial expression went from surprise to pure bliss. I took a deep breath as tears began to flow from his eyes. What a special moment. This was so surreal…
There were only a few days left to go before Christmas and the holiday spirit could be felt heavy in our home. We had gone with our favorite Winter Wonderland theme. I looked around at our living room all dusted in white and reached for a log to light the fireplace. My phone vibrated with a text from my husband that read ‘All done here baby, I’m headed home. Can’t wait to see you.’
I gently loaded the log into the fireplace and watched as the fire rose from a spark to a full on flame. Today was the day. I had some very special news to share and I could hardly contain my excitement. My husband was about to find out that he was going to be a daddy! I nervously straightened out the hem of my dress and settled into my favorite spot in front of the fire. It wouldn’t be long now.
I heard the beep of the car alarm and then the sound of his heavy boots as they climbed the stairs outside. I counted down the remaining flights in my head until he was right outside. His key turned in the door and as it opened, he smiled and looked over at me. ‘You look so cozy babe.’ He started to get prepped for a shower.
As he undressed, I watched him closely. He unbuttoned his jacket and lifted off his undershirt. I quietly studied his mannerisms, imagining in my head what a mini version of him might be like. I smiled to myself as I realized that I was excited to find out. I was even more excited for him to find out. ‘Hold off on your shower for a minute babe, I want to show you something.’ He froze and looked at me as the biggest smile of anticipation spread across his lips.
He happily took a seat in front of the fire and with shaky legs, I headed down the hallway to collect his surprise.
One by one he read each riddle and smiled until he had reached the final box. My heart began to beat a little faster as he lifted the lid. I had an idea of what his reaction would be and it brought me so much happiness to be providing this special moment for him. As he raised the lid, time stood still. He froze and stared in awe at the tiny onesie and booties, positive pregnancy tests and adorable baby rattle. Then he looked over at me.
His eyes became misty as he verified what he was seeing was indeed real. We were going to have a baby. ‘Really?!’ he looked to me for confirmation. I smiled proudly and nodded my head and then watched helplessly as he began to cry.
What a special moment.
He extended his arms and I accepted the invitation. We embraced in front of the fire with him sobbing into my arms, realizing that he was about to be a daddy. Seeing his reaction, his pure excitement alone, made my entire day.
Hearing the impromptu speech he recited for his unborn child left me speechless. In that moment, I knew that I couldn’t have picked a better man to be the father of my children.
He was happy. I was happy. It was going to be a very Merry Christmas indeed.
Three minutes. That’s all it was. Three minutes that felt like forever. I reached for the results with a shaky hand. This was crazy. Tiny little lines on a stick were about to determine my entirefuture…
I opened my eyes and looked down at Noelle. She had been staring at me intently, both ears standing straight up. ‘What are you doing silly girl?’ I watched and waited for a response. She hopped over to her food dish and gently pawed at it, letting me know she was ready to eat. I slowly sat up in bed just as the front door opened. ‘It’s me baby.’ My husband was back from his morning PT. As soon as she heard his voice, Noelle shot up the hallway to meet him. I laughed at how quickly she forgot that she was hungry.
I turned over in bed and watched as he kneeled down to catch her in his arms. His eyes caught mine and a smile crossed his lips. It wasn’t his usual one. There was something else there. Worry? Concern? He knew that if I was still in bed, there must be something wrong. I usually lived for meeting him at the door with breakfast.
I sat straight up in bed and gave a weak smile of my own as he headed towards me.
‘Are you feeling okay baby?’ His eyes were narrowed, inspecting me as he waited for my answer. Noelle, still in his arms, turned her head towards me as if she was waiting for a response as well. ‘Just a little tired baby but I’m fine.’ I gave him another weak smile as I positioned my body to climb out of bed. In one swift motion, his arm was gently holding me down. ‘No. Just rest baby.’ I was so tired. I didn’t resist. He filled her food dish and then sat next to the bed holding my hand until he had to leave again for work.
I must have fallen asleep like that because I woke up to complete silence.
Noelle was curled up in her bed, fast asleep with a happy tummy. I gently lowered my feet to the floor as the realizion hit me. I was expecting my cycle in a few days which was probably why I felt a bit fatigued.
Days went by and although the fatigue got better, my expected visitor never made an entrace. Knowing that my husband and I had started trying for a baby, I decided it was time to take a pregnancy test. Not wanting to ruin what would be a beautiful surprise, I picked a day and waited for him to head to work. He didn’t suspect a thing.
‘Have a good day at work babe.’ I gave him a kiss and closed the door. I basically skipped down the hallway towards my bathroom cabinet where I had neatly tucked away a special little box all the way in the back corner. I stopped to peek through the blinds, just to make sure he drove off and I was in the clear! It was time to find out! I grabbed my camera and tripod to document the memory and headed to the bathroom.
I pressed record on the camera and instantly started to sweat. Why was I so nervous??
My hands fumbled with the packaging as I went through the process for the first time. I carefully read the directions twice just to make sure I did everything perfectly. Then it was time. I stared at the bars loading one by one and patiently waited for the results to populate on the stick. As the last one loaded, I closed my eyes in anticipation. Everything around me went completely still and quiet. I slowly opened them to the words visible plain as day.
PREGNANT.
One hand flew to cover my mouth as I cradled my future with the other. ‘I’m pregnant.’ I said it again with tears in my eyes. The happiness I felt was indescribable. Noelle was staring at me intently as if she was saying congratulations in her own little way. It was time to tell my husband. We were about to embark on the journey of a lifetime and I couldn’t wait.
“Standing there in the crowded university cafeteria, I shifted my books from one arm to the other, looking for a seat. In he came, with his dark brown hair neatly styled and his polo shirt tucked into his khakis. A familiar smile came over his face as he spotted me. I knew him from work. I guess I had never noticed before, but he was actually quite handsome. He waved as he approached me and said, ‘Are you trying to find a seat? We’ll probably get a table faster if we sit together.’ There was the slightest hint of a twinkle in his deep green eyes. He would later admit to me how proud he was of this ‘smooth’ line. We had lunch together that day. It became a regular thing. Two associates from work hanging out at school. Nothing more. Things went a step further when he friend requested me on Facebook. We would chat online for hours. He confided in me about girls and I confided in him about guys. We became fast friends. One day he said, ‘Hey, why don’t we hang out?’ I smiled and agreed. He picked me up, held my hand in the car and paid for the meal. It was definitely a date.
He showed up at my house a few days later with a single multicolored rose. It was storming outside and the rain was coming down sideways. There he was standing at my front door. ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ He was so nervous. ‘Of course I will!’ I exclaimed. We hugged and shared the most romantic kiss. From that moment on, we celebrated every milestone. 1 month. 2 months. Half a year. People would roll their eyes but we didn’t care! Time went on and we grew closer. We fell deeper in love.
The proposal was perfect. It started with a limousine ride and a rooftop view of the river. He really spoiled me that day. Balloons, glitter, and candles filled the room as he walked me in to the rhythm of John Legend’s You and I. Tears filled my eyes as I took in the beautiful lyrics and the romantic atmosphere. While we were having dinner, he had enlisted the help of my sister to create a scene straight out of a fairytale. ‘It’s so beautiful,’ I whispered. He responded, also in a whisper, ‘You’re so beautiful.’ Then he dropped down to one knee.
After college he left to serve, just as his grandfather had before him. I stayed behind and began my work as a nurse. I still remember the last night we spent together before he shipped out. It was a freezing cold winter night. One of those nights where snow was welcomed but had not yet arrived. Cuddled there next to him on the couch he reached down and grabbed my hand. He whispered, ‘I sure am gonna miss you baby,’ to which I responded in a barely audible voice, ‘I’ll miss you too.’ They were the first words we had spoken in hours. I almost didn’t notice the tear roll down my cheek, had it not landed on my lips and startled me with its saltiness. He pulled me closer and I looked up at him. His eyes. They were filling up. I quickly looked away, not wanting him to know that I’d seen the tears.
So we sat in our embrace. Silent. Both aware that everything was about to change.
I dropped him off at MEPS the next morning. I proudly stood there as he said his oath and then gladly opened my arms for what they called ‘one last hug.’ I didn’t want to let go. I took in everything. The feeling of his arms around my waist. The smell of his aftershave. His chin resting on the top of my head. That familiar comfort that I’d come to know and love. Then I heard ‘Time’s Up!’ The words cut me like a knife as I reluctantly released my grip. I watched him as he left the room. I think I might have been okay had he not turned around and mouthed to me, ‘I Love You,’ just as he rounded the corner. And then he was gone. I lost it. Not wanting anyone to see me in my moment of weakness, I zoomed from the room and opted to take the stairs as opposed to the crowded elevator. I had to use the guardrail to get down them. I could barely see through my tears. My car was my refuge at that time. I don’t remember just how long I sat there but at some point I gathered myself and drove home. It was time to be strong.
Basic training was tough but I smiled every time I opened my mailbox to that familiar handwriting. There was something special about the way he wrote my name. ‘I need to go by the post office first.’ I must have said that a million times while he was away. We wrote so many letters back and forth that there was one in the mailbox almost every day. I think that helped a lot. I poured my emotions into my letters, being careful not to include anything that may have caused him to worry or be concerned. His training was in phases, each one harder than the one before. As we approached the last phase, he wrote, ‘mentally it may get a little difficult really soon.’ He seemed positive but a little unsure of what the future was going to hold. The same day I received that letter, I got online and printed out what must have been hundreds of motivational quotes. Such big words on such small pieces of paper. Hope. Positivity. I filled the envelopes with them and ended each letter with four simple words. ‘You got this babe.’ He later told me that helped him make it through.
And then graduation came and went. It literally felt that quick.
I still remember the first time I spotted him. Standing there in his full uniform. Handsome. Rugged. He looked so different but…his eyes. His eyes were the same gentle ones that I had come to know and love so much. I knew the exact moment that he spotted me too. He smiled at me with his eyes. Watching him graduate and conquer his goals, I was so proud. I told him so. I ran right up to him and as we embraced, I whispered, ‘I’m so proud of you babe.’ He just tightened his grip and I felt his body shake. Silent tears. ‘I love you so much baby,’ were the only words he said. He had missed me too.
Our celebration was short lived. He deployed merely months later. I wept when he told me.
Deployment day arrived. As I hugged him, the cool metal of his dog tags pressed against my cheek. I said through tears, ‘You better come back safely to me!’ before he climbed onto the big plane that was going to take him away. He looked me right in the eyes and said, ‘I will baby.’ We said a prayer together. It was the peace that I needed in that moment.
At first, I heard nothing. In the military, they say no news is good news. That’s easier said than experienced. Then he called me! Months went by filled with video calls, text messages and care packages. I prayed for his safety daily. As the time winded down, the excitement began to grow. One day he said, ‘Life is too short babe, let’s go ahead and get married.’ He was serious. I could hear it in his voice. We had been enjoying our engagement up until then. I was taking my time planning the perfect wedding. I don’t know what he saw over there. I have never asked. We married 3 days after his return.
The wedding was beautiful. Perfect. I couldn’t have imagined it in my dreams. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me during our first look. I stretched out my freshly manicured hand and tapped his shoulder, careful not to disturb his chord. He turned around and his mouth fell open. ‘Wow, she looks like a princess!’ I felt so beautiful at that moment. The ceremony came soon after. There we stood, on top of a cliff overlooking the ocean in Southern California. Literally on top of a cliff! Soft hues of blush and rose gold surrounded us. He arranged his beret. ‘Are you ready baby?’ My smile told him everything he needed to know. We wrote our own vows. I stood at the alter holding back tears as I heard him say the words he had said so many times before. ‘Always and Forever.’ This time just felt different. People surrounded us but at that moment it was just he and I on top of that cliff. A single tear rolled down his left cheek as we took our first dance. I reached up and gently wiped it away with my thumb. Time went by too quickly but I had enjoyed every minute of it.
As we have grown together, I notice more things I love about him. Like the way the corners of his eyes wrinkle when he smiles or how he kisses me on the forehead whenever dinner is ready. He still opens all my doors and pulls out my chairs. He holds my hand no matter where we are. Most importantly, he prays for me. Every time he walks out the front door he says, ‘I love you baby.’ I respond, ‘I love you too.’ He then comes back with ‘I love you more.’ I always jokingly say, ‘You better!’ He never walks out the front door without this exchange. It brings comfort to the both of us. I always keep my faith that he’s going to walk back in.
Being married to a soldier can be emotionally difficult but I am proud to stand by his side as he serves our country. Everyday is a new adventure. Our story is still being written. It sure has been a page-turner so far and I look forward to what’s yet to come.”
Hi! I’m Sierra. If you’re visiting my site there’s a chance that you are already well aware of who I am. There’s also a chance that you haven’t the slightest clue. So many things describe me. Devoted Army wife, Loving Sister, Fur Mom. I’m just navigating through this thing called life with the people that I love and enjoying it as much as I can along the way. A little background on me. I’ve always loved writing, ever since I was a little girl. It is a passion that until this moment, I had let slip away from me. I love expressing myself through language. This is my new canvas and I absolutely cannot wait to get started! I hope you’ll join me on this journey called life and become one of my SWEETHEARTS ❤
This is my story. In my Words. Laugh with me. Cry with me. Hear my thoughts. Feel my emotions. Experience the world through my eyes. Get to know me. Truly know me. Welcome to my world, Sweethearts ❤ xo-Sierra
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