emotions – SierraSweetheart

Love In Lockdown

July 30, 2020September 4, 2020Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Marriage, Military, Military Life, Relax and RejuvenateTagged army, army wife, blog, blog post, blogger, breakfast, breakfast in bed, bwwm, comfort, confessions, couple, courage, day in the life, emotion, emotional, emotions, experiences, family, girly, happiness, husband and wife, imagery, interracial couple, isolation, Life, Lifestyle, lockdown, love, marraige, memories, Military, Military Life, military wife, military wife confessions, milso, my life, my story, pandemic, quarantine, relationship, relationship goals, romance, romantic, sean and sierra, soldier, strength, subscribe, support, this is me, world events, youtube2 Comments

I slowly opened my eyes and was immediately met by his gaze. For a moment we just stared at each other in silence. Finally, I smiled and asked him ‘How long have you been watching me?’ He didn’t give an answer, only smiled in return…

I rolled over onto my back and looked out of the window. The sun was shining bright through the blinds. It had to be at least 10 o’clock.

We had slept in.

Memories of the night before flooded my mind. We stayed up all night laughing and talking and just enjoying each other’s company. It had truly been a wonderful night.

The warmth of his hand grabbing mine broke me from my thoughts. ‘Stay in bed baby, I’ll get us some breakfast going and we can enjoy it together.’ He flashed that killer smile at me and headed towards the kitchen.

I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him as he worked. Quiet, yet diligent. Out of nowhere, he stopped and glanced at me. A sly grin crept across his face. ‘Alexa, play…’ Suddenly, music spilled into every room of our home. He was dancing and swaying to the music while I held back my laugh. This was what happiness felt like.

Outside, the world was not so happy.

My eyes landed on the papers stacked on the bedside table. “‘MANDATORY 14 DAY QUARANTINE’ They were my husband’s official orders. We were home and enjoying special time together, but we were in quarantine. The world was in a state of what could only be explained as pure chaos. I shifted my gaze from the papers to my husband, who was now loudly singing to our puppy as he prepared bacon.

Regardless of the circumstances, I was blessed to be spending so much time with the love of my life. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and headed up the hallway, eager to join in on the fun. This was going to be a long couple of weeks and I planned on enjoying every minute. I had never been more excited to be in lockdown.

https://youtu.be/dGBU1utoO5w

A Time For Healing

February 12, 2020April 25, 2020Posted in Beauty and the Beach, Empowerment, Life, Lifestyle, Relax and Rejuvenate, SierraTagged army, beach, blog, blogger, deployment, emotional, emotions, family, fresh air, heal, healing, Military, Military Life, military wife, outdoors, repair, sad, seanandseirra, sierrasweetheart, strength, strong, support2 Comments

It was my first time returning to the beach. The last time I was here, I had my husband at my side. Hand in hand. Heart in Heart. Now I stood alone before the wide open sea. The water beckoned for me, pulling me from my thoughts. The time for healing was now...

I stepped into the ocean and allowed it to envelope me. The blue green water was clear like crystals and just as sparkly. Where had I seen this green before? It took only a moment for me to realize. His eyes! The water was green like his eyes! Clear. Welcoming. Honest. Instantly, I felt his presence. I closed mine and smiled, standing right there at the edge of the sea. Time had made me resilient. Prayer had made me stronger. My support system had made me confident.

The air was so fresh. It was almost as if the atmosphere was different. I inhaled deeply. Each breath I took seemed to make me feel more liberated. I walked along the edge where the sea met the sand. Funny how it always stopped just in time. Life could be that way. Never quite bringing more than you can handle. Coming so close that for a moment you think it might overwhelm you, then it backs away.

In the beginning, I had allowed myself a period of time for sadness. A natural emotion to be expressed. Regardless of how anyone else felt I should be acting, I knew it was important to be myself. Yes, I missed my husband. The man that I spent countless hours and days with. The man that I loved so dearly. The man that made me feel as though I could do anything. To have that suddenly ripped away from me, regardless of the fact that it would not be permanent, was destined to cause some emotions. We didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye. Of course I was sad.

That was in the beginning. Now, I was ready to heal. What better place than the wide open sea? The place where everything had started? I had always felt so free at the beach. The sun was shining bright in the sky. Children were laughing and splashing in the water nearby. I almost didn’t realize that I was still standing there smiling. Things were looking up.

I had spoken to my husband. I had developed a strong routine. I had visited with family and gotten enough support to last a lifetime. I had leaned on my faith and left the rest to GOD. The initial shock had passed. I wanted to be strong for him, for me. I needed to. I looked back at the ocean and smiled. I was ready to tell my story.

More Than Just a Day at the Beach

February 12, 2020April 25, 2020Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Marriage, Military, Military LifeTagged army, blog, blogger, confessions, deployment, emotional, emotions, fear, fun, interracial couple, love, Military, military leave, Military Life, military wife, new year, sad, seanandsierra, sierrasweetheart, soldier, tears, unexpected, vacation1 Comment

‘Wanna swing by the beach baby?’ He looked over at me with a smile. ‘Sure! It looks so nice out. We’ll just stop for a little while.’ We turned at the stoplight and parked. He opened my door and I climbed out of the car, stopping only to briefly change from sandals to flip flops. It almost seemed deserted. Barely any people. Just the way we liked it. We walked hand in hand towards the sand. We were definitely going to be here for more than just a little while…

2020. It was a new year. A new decade. So many plans. It’s crazy how life has this way of surprising you. I remember posting a photo on our social media with the caption ‘Excited to bring in a new year happy and together…’ At the time, I had no idea that my husband would soon be unexpectedly deployed. Hours notice, that’s all we got.

I remember the day we spent at the beach. It was such a perfect day. The sun was peeking from behind the clouds, providing the perfect amount of warmth and shade. It was deserted that day. We walked right up and got front row seats to the amazing sunset. ‘So beautiful.’ He and I had whispered that at the same time. ‘Yes, you are.’ I looked over at him. I had been talking about the sunset. He had been talking about me.

Oh my goodness. Why was I blushing??

I sometimes look back at the photos we took that day and smile. Such fond memories. We were blessed to have that special time together. It was so much more than just a day at the beach.

Breaking News.

February 11, 2020February 11, 2020Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Marriage, Military, Military LifeTagged apart, blog, blogger, difficulties, distance, emotions, family, fear, husband, information, interracial, Life, love, Military Life, military wife, pet, sean and sierra, Sierra, sierrasweetheart, Storytime, supportLeave a comment

I reached over to check my phone before bed. My heart dropped when I saw the words “Breaking News” flash across the screen. It was trending. Two simple words that could mean so much to my life. I quickly reached for my Bible with one hand as I shakily pressed for the update with my other…

That first night without him was the hardest. Sleeping alone. He had given me a crash course on exactly what to do to protect myself if necessary although we had both prayed it wouldn’t be. Lock the door. Open it for no one. Call mom if you need anything. I knew the drill. I stood at the entryway to the bedroom, almost afraid to go in. It suddenly looked so huge. My eyes drifted down. There they were on the floor next to the bed, his slippers. I sat down and slid my feet in one by one, smiling at the warmth they provided. Behind me, his pillow looked too inviting not to try. Laying my cheek against it, I deeply inhaled. It smelled like him. That strong yet gentle scent that I had grown to love so much.

The bed seemed to swallow me without him at my side. So much space. Too much space. I laid there staring at his pillow, enjoying fond memories of the late night intimate talks we loved to share. Before l knew it, I had fallen asleep.

I woke up to complete darkness and five missed calls. All from family checking on me. I called back right away, not wanting to leave them worried. I could tell they were happy to hear I’d been able to get some sleep. ‘Love you too, talk to you soon.’ I rolled over fully prepared to get right back to bed. But then curiosity got the best of me. I glanced over my shoulder at my phone sitting there on the bedside table, still illuminated. I wish I could have screamed at myself ‘NO, DON’T DO IT, JUST GO TO BED’ But I couldn’t. It didn’t feel like I was in control of my body as I watched my fingers wrap around the cool aluminum. I hadn’t heard from him yet. I’d just take a quick peek to see if there were any updates. I had only started to type in the search engine when the breaking news popped up as one of my autofill suggestions. My eyes read it faster than my brain could process it. For a moment, I forgot to breathe.

I was sitting straight up in bed now. Wide awake. In my solitude, I audibly cried out to GOD.

The Night Before He Left…

February 10, 2020February 11, 2020Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Marriage, Military, Military LifeTagged army, blog, blogger, crying, date, date night, deployed, deployment, difficult, emotional, emotions, husband and wife, interracial, laughter, love, Marriage, Military, Military Life, military wife, romantic, seanandsierra, Sierra, sierrasweetheart, unexpected, youtubeLeave a comment

The bright flames danced in the fireplace, almost as if they wanted to escape at any moment. Warmth radiated and seemed to fill the entire living room. There was a certain peace, a calmness in the air. But things were far from peaceful.

I watched him as he finished up with the log, igniting a fire that would burn much like the passion between us. I took in every bit of him. I wanted to cherish this night. He turned to me and smiled ‘It’s ready baby.’ I joined him on the floor. We had opted to get a 4 hour log, a rare treat. He reached for the cream knitted fleece, the coziest one we had, and gently wrapped it around my shoulders. I smiled at him and we shared a kiss. He headed to the kitchen to grab our dinner plates and I got settled in.

Dinner was terrible. Absolutely terrible. ‘I’m sorry baby, I have no idea what happened.’ He looked at me with eyes that were apologetic. The corners of his mouth started to curl. He was holding back a smile. Maybe we needed that. It had been an extremely emotional night. We laughed, we cried, we stared into each other’s eyes. Most importantly, we made memories. I cuddled up with him right there in front of the fireplace. We only had a couple of hours left before it would be time to go to sleep. To my right, our dog was happily curled up in bed under a little blanket of her own. To my left, the fire had grown to a full blaze. And behind me…He was behind me. His big arms were wrapped around my waist. Tight enough to make me feel secure yet loose enough to allow me to freely move closer against him. He brushed my hair to the side and gently kissed my neck. I closed my eyes. ‘I love you so much baby,’ he said in a husky whisper. I wasn’t yet sure of what would lie ahead of us, but I felt a little more ready for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0nFS0RjSBs

Hello! 😊

February 8, 2020February 11, 2020Posted in Get to Know Me, Life, Lifestyle, SierraTagged army, blog, blogger, emotions, girly, introduction, Life, Lifestyle, love, Military, Military Life, military wife, passion, romance, sierrasweetheart, Storytime, sweethearts, wife2 Comments

Hi! I’m Sierra. If you’re visiting my site there’s a chance that you are already well aware of who I am. There’s also a chance that you haven’t the slightest clue. So many things describe me. Devoted Army wife, Loving Sister, Fur Mom. I’m just navigating through this thing called life with the people that I love and enjoying it as much as I can along the way. A little background on me. I’ve always loved writing, ever since I was a little girl. It is a passion that until this moment, I had let slip away from me. I love expressing myself through language. This is my new canvas and I absolutely cannot wait to get started! I hope you’ll join me on this journey called life and become one of my SWEETHEARTS ❤

xoxo-Sierra