"God is within her, she will not fail." Psalm 46:5
Have you ever watched a dream, just slip away…
Dusk into dawn, night into day.
Have you ever had a vision, vanish into thin air…
Smile all the while, pretend you don’t care.
Have you ever felt the shatter of a desire so deep…
Long nights you weep, the secrets you keep.
Have you ever?
A new dream. A new vision. A brand new day…
Head bowed, eyes closed, begin to pray…
Oh please, Oh please, please don’t let it slip away.
Sitting in the passenger seat, I looked over at him and smiled. The sun seemed to be resting happily on his shoulder. He kept one hand steady on the steering wheel and stretched the other out to me. I closed my eyes as he lifted the back of my hand to his lips and planted a gentle kiss. Life sure had a funny way of coming full circle…
A loud buzzing rang out and filled the room, startling me from my sleep. I reached over and quickly turned off the alarm then looked over my shoulder to see if my husband was awake. He was still resting peacefully, eyes closed tight. I decided to take a moment to reflect.
Today was the day. The first day of summer leave. We had waited so long for this vacation. It almost didn’t come. I still remember the day I received the email. It came from my husband’s company. These days, the emails that came could have literally been anything. For a moment after my phone vibrated, I just stared at it. One new message. What could it possibly be? The entire world seemed to be in both a fragile and hostile state. The perfect recipe for disaster. Regardless of how nervous I was, I knew it was going to be information that I needed. I swiped down from my notification bar and my eyes instantly grew wide.
‘Great news!! The travel ban has been lifted and we have official dates for summer leave.’ I teared up as I read it over and over. ‘Please check with your paratrooper for further details.’ I sent my husband a screenshot of the email and he replied back with about a million smiley faces and exclamation points. This is what life had become. Celebrating the smallest of things. Every positive was a victory. We were definitely grateful. I couldn’t wait to start planning!
‘You awake baby?’ He pulled me from my thoughts. When had he climbed out of bed? Did I fall back asleep? Last night had been a restless one for me. I was so excited that it seemed like sleep never came. It was like the night before the first day of school when your outfit is already picked out and you can’t wait to see your friends. ‘I’m awake!’ I jumped out of bed and right into his arms. The adrenaline rush had set in. It was time to start our vacation!!
The next two hours were a whirlwind of showers, breakfast and packing up the car. Finally, the time came to get on the road.
I picked up our puppy, Noelle, with one hand and slid my purse over my shoulder with the other as I stepped outside. The sound of the door locking behind us made me let out a little giggle. I instantly felt silly. He must have noticed. He flashed me a smile as he slid the keys into his pocket and let out a chuckle of his own that was clearly meant to match mine. It didn’t seem so silly after all. He reached for Noelle and she dove into his arms, leaving me with free hands as we made our way down the steps. The three of us piled into the car and we would soon be on our way.
I looked around at the bags surrounding us. The last time we were all in the car like this, we were headed home to prepare for my husband’s rapid departure overseas. I glanced over at him as he slid on his sunglasses. I called him Mr. Smooth whenever he wore them. He cracked his knuckles and put the car into drive.
I looked down at Noelle, she had already cuddled up to her favorite toy and was setting her sights on a good nap. Everything felt normal. It felt perfect.
My husband passed me the aux cord as the sunshine hit my face. It felt SO good. We were on the road again! But this time was different. This was better than the last time.
His Green Eyes…
They take me by surprise.
The loving. The longing. The way they stare straight into mine.
His Green Eyes…
Look at me as though I’m his prize.
In awe. In love. Never in despise.
His Green Eyes…
They stare right into my soul.
I slowly opened my eyes and was immediately met by his gaze. For a moment we just stared at each other in silence. Finally, I smiled and asked him ‘How long have you been watching me?’ He didn’t give an answer, only smiled in return…
I rolled over onto my back and looked out of the window. The sun was shining bright through the blinds. It had to be at least 10 o’clock.
We had slept in.
Memories of the night before flooded my mind. We stayed up all night laughing and talking and just enjoying each other’s company. It had truly been a wonderful night.
The warmth of his hand grabbing mine broke me from my thoughts. ‘Stay in bed baby, I’ll get us some breakfast going and we can enjoy it together.’ He flashed that killer smile at me and headed towards the kitchen.
I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him as he worked. Quiet, yet diligent. Out of nowhere, he stopped and glanced at me. A sly grin crept across his face. ‘Alexa, play…’ Suddenly, music spilled into every room of our home. He was dancing and swaying to the music while I held back my laugh. This was what happiness felt like.
Outside, the world was not so happy.
My eyes landed on the papers stacked on the bedside table. “‘MANDATORY 14 DAY QUARANTINE’ They were my husband’s official orders. We were home and enjoying special time together, but we were in quarantine. The world was in a state of what could only be explained as pure chaos. I shifted my gaze from the papers to my husband, who was now loudly singing to our puppy as he prepared bacon.
Regardless of the circumstances, I was blessed to be spending so much time with the love of my life. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and headed up the hallway, eager to join in on the fun. This was going to be a long couple of weeks and I planned on enjoying every minute. I had never been more excited to be in lockdown.
My phone dinged again. I looked down at it just in time to see the notification for a new comment disappear and be replaced with another. I smiled. Our YouTube family. A huge unit comprised of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and more…from all over the world. Standing in our corner. It was amazing. It was inspiring…
I was worried and I was scared. I wanted to reach out to our online family to let them know what was going on. They had become a big part of our lives and we shared many aspects of it with them. Many had already started to ask questions. I wanted to include them in this huge moment.
I stared at my phone in my hand and almost changed my mind. My finger shakily pressed the button before I did. In a moment, I would be live. Who would see this? I had no clue. I tried to pull myself together as people started to appear. Someone asked ‘What’s wrong Sierra?’ and I lost it. Tears caught me by surprise as they spilled from both eyes.
I became angry at myself. I was here for a reason. To inform them of what was going on. I could barely get the words out. ‘Sean has been deployed.’ I said it through tears. I felt so vulnerable, but these people loved us so much. They were our family. The outpouring of support was almost immediate. I confided in them. Talking slowly and covering one point at a time. I told them as much as I could without compromising the safety of my husband and his unit. I asked for prayers. I wanted all the prayers that I could get and I smiled as they started sending them immediately. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. There was power in prayer. There was safety in numbers. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone.
The comments came in from everywhere. One behind the other. Heartfelt messages filled with concern flooded our DMs. I felt so much love. I wrote down every scripture. Agreed with every prayer. Accepted every well wish. I felt covered from all angles.
We now had an army standing in our corner.
I was so grateful. I am still so grateful. Some of my toughest times were in the beginning. Everything was a blur. Tensions were high. Heading into the unknown, we were all scared. ALL of us. I had my faith. I had my family. At the time, I didn’t realize that I had even more.
I love you guys so much.
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.
SierraSweetheart 