Tag: pet

Home.

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My hands started shaking as I turned the wheel. This was it. The moment we had both been longing for. The moment that felt like it would never come. And then there he was…walking towards me with that smile that I loved so much. God, it was so good to see him again. Holding back tears, I allowed myself to fully breathe for the first time in months…

I stepped back and smiled, admiring the decorations that surrounded me. Hues of pink and red cascaded from the ceiling. Everything was so beautiful. It was perfect. I walked over to the couch and grabbed my phone. It was time to check the Redeployment Hotline again. My fingers dialed the number from memory. The familiar sound of the automated voice on the other end filled my ears. I quietly wondered to myself, just how many times had I called this number over the past few days?

This time was different. I replayed the message to ensure I had heard it correctly.

There was a last minute update! He would be arriving almost an hour earlier than expected! The smallest cry escaped my lips as the realization hit me.

In one smooth motion, I grabbed my purse and my car keys as I headed out the door.

Once in the car, I pulled up the GPS and said out loud ‘He’s finally home.’ It was finally time to bring him home. I met my own eyes in the mirror as I did a quick lookover. They seemed to twinkle back at me.

Red dress. I was wearing one of his favorite colors on me. Red. So bright and fiery, much like our marriage. I smiled as I thought about how much he was going to love it, and then buckled my seatbelt as I headed to get my man.

The sun was bright and the birds were chirping happily. I rolled the windows down as a light breeze filled the car and blew my hair softly in the wind. I didn’t need a feel good song playing on the radio. I was in a state of pure bliss.

Before I knew it, I had pulled up to the massive gates on base. It felt different today. My husband was behind these gates and I was here to bring him home. For a moment, my mind went back to the day I dropped him off…

‘I love you baby, see you when you get home.’ A tear crept down my cheek just as I tried to quickly turn and hide it from him. His strong but gentle hand grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. He pulled me close and rested his chin on my head as he had done so many times before. ‘It’s okay baby, it’s okay.’

I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about how long ago that now seemed. I pulled up and prepared to patiently wait. It had already been so long. What was a few more minutes?

The buses rolled in. We made a line to wave them on. Posters and pom poms flew in every direction as they disappeared farther down the road. It lasted only a few seconds. This was our official “Welcome Ceremony.” Thanks to social distancing, there would be no large gatherings or fancy programs. It had been an adjustment for all of us.

It was now time to reunite with my husband.

I drove to the meeting location and patiently waited. Almost immediately, I saw him heading my way. He seemed taller. He was a bit thinner. His eyes looked a little tired. But he was smiling at me!! He was happy!! I could’ve cried tears of joy at that moment.

We embraced immediately and shared the most passionate kiss. It was well overdue.

I couldn’t stop talking on the way home. I was so excited to update him on EVERYTHING. As we got closer, I glanced down at our hands locked together and resting between us. ‘I really missed this baby,’ he said it so low that I almost didn’t hear. I glanced over at him as he drove and quietly thanked GOD for bringing him back safely to me. Tears welled up in my eyes. I blinked them away.

We were headed to his Welcome Home Party!!

It was time for the big surprise! I quietly waited inside a life-sized box as he walked in, unaware of what was to come. He pulled it open earnestly but gently. My heart began to race as I prepared to jump out. A shower of rose petals fell between us and he flashed that smile at me once again.

We laughed and embraced and enjoyed the party. A familiar song began to play on the radio. It was the same song that had played on the night he left all those months ago. Our eyes quietly met. It felt too perfect to be a coincidence. He took me into his arms and in that moment, all was right with the world. We spoke no words for the duration of the song and slow-danced from start to finish. I could see the emotion in his eyes. When he released it, it was my turn to take him into my arms. It felt so good to be reunited.

He was safe. He was healthy. He was in my arms. He was Home.

https://youtu.be/3WxHJEZhQ3s

Breaking News.

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I reached over to check my phone before bed. My heart dropped when I saw the words “Breaking News” flash across the screen. It was trending. Two simple words that could mean so much to my life. I quickly reached for my Bible with one hand as I shakily pressed for the update with my other…

That first night without him was the hardest. Sleeping alone. He had given me a crash course on exactly what to do to protect myself if necessary although we had both prayed it wouldn’t be. Lock the door. Open it for no one. Call mom if you need anything. I knew the drill. I stood at the entryway to the bedroom, almost afraid to go in. It suddenly looked so huge. My eyes drifted down. There they were on the floor next to the bed, his slippers. I sat down and slid my feet in one by one, smiling at the warmth they provided. Behind me, his pillow looked too inviting not to try. Laying my cheek against it, I deeply inhaled. It smelled like him. That strong yet gentle scent that I had grown to love so much.

The bed seemed to swallow me without him at my side. So much space. Too much space. I laid there staring at his pillow, enjoying fond memories of the late night intimate talks we loved to share. Before l knew it, I had fallen asleep.

I woke up to complete darkness and five missed calls. All from family checking on me. I called back right away, not wanting to leave them worried. I could tell they were happy to hear I’d been able to get some sleep. ‘Love you too, talk to you soon.’ I rolled over fully prepared to get right back to bed. But then curiosity got the best of me. I glanced over my shoulder at my phone sitting there on the bedside table, still illuminated. I wish I could have screamed at myself ‘NO, DON’T DO IT, JUST GO TO BED’ But I couldn’t. It didn’t feel like I was in control of my body as I watched my fingers wrap around the cool aluminum. I hadn’t heard from him yet. I’d just take a quick peek to see if there were any updates. I had only started to type in the search engine when the breaking news popped up as one of my autofill suggestions. My eyes read it faster than my brain could process it. For a moment, I forgot to breathe.

I was sitting straight up in bed now. Wide awake. In my solitude, I audibly cried out to GOD. 

Deployed.

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No one tells you this part. Even if they did, they couldn’t possibly prepare you for it. How much it hurts when you watch him walk away into the unknown. The feeling you get in your stomach each time you have dinner alone…

I turned the key and let out a deep sigh as I entered our home. The familiar smell of pecan brownies filled the air. Warm, inviting. A little white ball of fur came bolting down the hallway. Our dog, Noelle. She looked past me towards the door, looking for her daddy. Her hero. I looked away, holding back tears. For a minute I pretended that I didn’t see, hoping she’d quickly go on about her day. But we had anticipated this. I reached into my bag for one of her favorite treats. The ones she always went crazy for. ‘Mmmmm,’ I loudly said and placed it on the ground where she sat. As I hung my coat, I snuck a peek over at her. She had settled down right there. The treat was untouched. I should have known. A treat versus her daddy? He’d win every time. There she sat, staring intently at the door. Tail down. Ears up. Listening for his footsteps. ‘Come on Noelle baby, daddy will come a little later.’ I could barely get the words out knowing the truth. How does one tell a dog about these things?

For an hour, I watched her. Loyal. Patient. Perking up at every sound she heard. Tears silently rolled down my cheeks as I picked her up and carried her back down the hallway. It was so quiet in the house. Though I wore only socks, my footsteps seemed to pound in my ears. Each one louder than the one before. I sat down cross-legged on the floor and balanced her on my lap. She crawled right out of my arms and into her little bed. ‘Daddy will be home soon,’ I told her.

I glanced at my bible, still open on the bedside table. I had prayed. We had prayed. I was confident in the direction we had received. But why did I still feel so sad? ‘Because you love your husband and you’re human,’ I told myself out loud.

I headed into the kitchen to prepare for dinner and stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes landed on the sink. I had made his favorite right before dropping him off. His plate was still sitting there. Traces of brown gravy lingered on the smooth white porcelain. A mere hour earlier, he had been enjoying his meal at the dining room table, thanking me with a smile for making his favorite. I swore in that moment I could almost feel him. My phone vibrated and shook me from my thoughts. Why was it so loud? ‘How’s it going?’ It was my sister checking in on me. My thumbs quickly drafted a response and shot it back to her. ‘Doing great! Gonna call soon!’ I didn’t want her to worry. I didn’t want her to call. I didn’t want to cry.

I made too much food. Going from dinner for two to party of one had proven to be a little more difficult than I had expected. My eyes darted to that spot on the couch. His favorite spot. The one he loved to settle into after a long day at work. I loved seeing him sit there. Relaxed and content. Offering assistance if needed but otherwise waiting for the notification that dinner was complete. Usually around this time he’d smile at me as I made our plates and tell me that he loved me. A gentle forehead kiss always came soon after. Suddenly, I had no appetite. My eyes filled with tears. I angrily wiped them away as I sat to have my meal, irritated with the fact that I had become so emotional. He will be back. This was always a part of our lives. We had been here before. But this time was just so unexpected. So different.

I had to be strong, but I missed my husband…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUueZOKM4Eo