"God is within her, she will not fail." Psalm 46:5
Have you ever watched a dream, just slip away…
Dusk into dawn, night into day.
Have you ever had a vision, vanish into thin air…
Smile all the while, pretend you don’t care.
Have you ever felt the shatter of a desire so deep…
Long nights you weep, the secrets you keep.
Have you ever?
A new dream. A new vision. A brand new day…
Head bowed, eyes closed, begin to pray…
Oh please, Oh please, please don’t let it slip away.
Sitting in the passenger seat, I looked over at him and smiled. The sun seemed to be resting happily on his shoulder. He kept one hand steady on the steering wheel and stretched the other out to me. I closed my eyes as he lifted the back of my hand to his lips and planted a gentle kiss. Life sure had a funny way of coming full circle…
A loud buzzing rang out and filled the room, startling me from my sleep. I reached over and quickly turned off the alarm then looked over my shoulder to see if my husband was awake. He was still resting peacefully, eyes closed tight. I decided to take a moment to reflect.
Today was the day. The first day of summer leave. We had waited so long for this vacation. It almost didn’t come. I still remember the day I received the email. It came from my husband’s company. These days, the emails that came could have literally been anything. For a moment after my phone vibrated, I just stared at it. One new message. What could it possibly be? The entire world seemed to be in both a fragile and hostile state. The perfect recipe for disaster. Regardless of how nervous I was, I knew it was going to be information that I needed. I swiped down from my notification bar and my eyes instantly grew wide.
‘Great news!! The travel ban has been lifted and we have official dates for summer leave.’ I teared up as I read it over and over. ‘Please check with your paratrooper for further details.’ I sent my husband a screenshot of the email and he replied back with about a million smiley faces and exclamation points. This is what life had become. Celebrating the smallest of things. Every positive was a victory. We were definitely grateful. I couldn’t wait to start planning!
‘You awake baby?’ He pulled me from my thoughts. When had he climbed out of bed? Did I fall back asleep? Last night had been a restless one for me. I was so excited that it seemed like sleep never came. It was like the night before the first day of school when your outfit is already picked out and you can’t wait to see your friends. ‘I’m awake!’ I jumped out of bed and right into his arms. The adrenaline rush had set in. It was time to start our vacation!!
The next two hours were a whirlwind of showers, breakfast and packing up the car. Finally, the time came to get on the road.
I picked up our puppy, Noelle, with one hand and slid my purse over my shoulder with the other as I stepped outside. The sound of the door locking behind us made me let out a little giggle. I instantly felt silly. He must have noticed. He flashed me a smile as he slid the keys into his pocket and let out a chuckle of his own that was clearly meant to match mine. It didn’t seem so silly after all. He reached for Noelle and she dove into his arms, leaving me with free hands as we made our way down the steps. The three of us piled into the car and we would soon be on our way.
I looked around at the bags surrounding us. The last time we were all in the car like this, we were headed home to prepare for my husband’s rapid departure overseas. I glanced over at him as he slid on his sunglasses. I called him Mr. Smooth whenever he wore them. He cracked his knuckles and put the car into drive.
I looked down at Noelle, she had already cuddled up to her favorite toy and was setting her sights on a good nap. Everything felt normal. It felt perfect.
My husband passed me the aux cord as the sunshine hit my face. It felt SO good. We were on the road again! But this time was different. This was better than the last time.
I slowly opened my eyes and was immediately met by his gaze. For a moment we just stared at each other in silence. Finally, I smiled and asked him ‘How long have you been watching me?’ He didn’t give an answer, only smiled in return…
I rolled over onto my back and looked out of the window. The sun was shining bright through the blinds. It had to be at least 10 o’clock.
We had slept in.
Memories of the night before flooded my mind. We stayed up all night laughing and talking and just enjoying each other’s company. It had truly been a wonderful night.
The warmth of his hand grabbing mine broke me from my thoughts. ‘Stay in bed baby, I’ll get us some breakfast going and we can enjoy it together.’ He flashed that killer smile at me and headed towards the kitchen.
I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him as he worked. Quiet, yet diligent. Out of nowhere, he stopped and glanced at me. A sly grin crept across his face. ‘Alexa, play…’ Suddenly, music spilled into every room of our home. He was dancing and swaying to the music while I held back my laugh. This was what happiness felt like.
Outside, the world was not so happy.
My eyes landed on the papers stacked on the bedside table. “‘MANDATORY 14 DAY QUARANTINE’ They were my husband’s official orders. We were home and enjoying special time together, but we were in quarantine. The world was in a state of what could only be explained as pure chaos. I shifted my gaze from the papers to my husband, who was now loudly singing to our puppy as he prepared bacon.
Regardless of the circumstances, I was blessed to be spending so much time with the love of my life. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and headed up the hallway, eager to join in on the fun. This was going to be a long couple of weeks and I planned on enjoying every minute. I had never been more excited to be in lockdown.
‘I almost didn’t realize I was holding my breath as I shakily reached to open the trunk. Confusion and excitement overtook my thoughts. As the screen lit up my entire face, I became overcome with emotion. In those first few moments, I didn’t know whether to smile or cry…‘
It was a day like any other. The sun sat high in the sky and a light breeze filled the air that seemed to bring the perfect mix of wind and warmth. Birds were chirping in beautiful harmony. The general mood was a peaceful one.
It was Valentine’s Day. The day of LOVE.
More specifically, my third day of love without the love of my life by my side. I wasn’t in much of a mood for celebrating.
I glanced down at my phone, hoping to see a new message from my husband. It had become a bit more difficult to communicate again. We were blessed if he got the chance to say ‘I’m safe. I love you.’
‘Heard from Sean?’ I looked up to see my sister standing in the doorway. I quickly put on a fake smile. ‘Not yet, but hopefully soon.’ She stood there staring at me for a moment. Looking back, I should have known that she had a secret from the way the corners of her lips slightly curled upward.
‘Get dressed, come run some errands with me.’ She disappeared down the hallway as I reached for my outfit. I hadn’t realized that I was excited to get out and get some fresh air. I was excited to clear my mind.
I threw my purse over my shoulder and turned towards the window just in time to get a glimpse of her driving away. ‘What in the world?’ I couldn’t help saying it out loud. My phone vibrated against my leg and I pulled it out in time to see the words New Message flashing across the screen. It was my sister. I read it out loud. ‘Meet me at the park in 10 minutes.’
There were no other messages.
The moment I arrived at the park, I was instantly blindfolded. Standing there in the middle of the grass, I smiled as I heard her doing her final touches. It was obvious that she was trying to make me feel better but all I really wanted was a message from my husband letting me know that he was okay.
‘Okay, open your eyes!’
I blinked a few times to adjust to the sun. The first thing that caught my eye was a teddy bear that stood as tall as me, his neck wrapped in a cascade of pink ribbon. Beautiful pink and white roses were arranged neatly in a bouquet, mixed amongst a sea of pink and white gifts.
I became instantly overwhelmed, cooing over everything and holding back tears as I read my cards. The words were so beautiful. I could tell they had come from his heart. Due to the fact that we were in the middle of a deployment, he wasn’t able to physically write out his love letters to me. Still, he had taken the time to figure out a way to my heart.
My sister took the words he’d typed, printed them out and gently placed them in the card. They were just as beautiful as the ones he usually wrote by hand. I had to blink back tears once again. I wanted nothing more than to speak to him and thank him for making the day so special for me.
Little did I know, the biggest surprise was yet to come.
I nervously stood in front of the trunk, wondering what could possibly be waiting inside. For a moment, I allowed myself to believe that he was going to jump out and pull me into his arms as he had so many times before.
Wishful thinking.
I gently lifted the trunk in anticipation. The rush of pink and white balloons filled me with an unexplainable feeling of happiness.
But it left as quickly as it came, floating away into the air with the balloons.
My fingers wrapped around the ipad sitting in the trunk. It was all that remained. ‘Turn it on!’ I glanced over at my sister as I shakily pressed the power button and held my breath.
There he was! My husband!! I was speechless.
‘Hey baby, Happy Valentine’s Day From the Other Side of the World’…
He had recorded a beautiful video message for me. I watched it from start to finish. I could see the hurt in his eyes but I could also hear the love in his voice. I didn’t care about holding back the tears anymore.
I must have thanked my sister a million times for helping him plan it all out. My entire day had been made.
He called and we spoke for what felt like hours. I giggled like a school girl the entire time.
We were thousands of miles apart, but we had once again found a special way to celebrate our love.
Just as we always had.
I looked over at him and smiled, he smiled back and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. We had waited so long for this moment. An intimate little getaway for just the two of us. I gazed out of the window at the palm trees as I happily made plans in my head for the remainder of our trip. ‘We’ll visit the islands, have a romantic picnic…’ The sound of his phone pulled me from my thoughts. It was going off like crazy. I looked over at his face and the smile slowly faded from mine…
What seemed like a million fireworks rang out, beautifully illuminating the night sky. Through the window, I followed a glimpse of blue with my eyes until it disappeared over the lake, gone forever. I shifted my attention to you, trying to decipher the look on your face. Your eyes were focused on the task at hand. Jaw tight in concentration. You seemed to be lost in thought. What were you thinking? My eyes lingered for a moment.
Until you caught me looking at you.
Your features immediately softened. A smile crept across your lips. It was sad, almost apologetic as you asked me ‘You all packed, babe?’ I looked down at the bag in front me and didn’t recognize it as my own. The usually neatly folded, organized by color and style clothing had been quickly stacked and mixed amongst other belongings. ‘Yes baby,’ I said, unable to look back up at you. They were coming again. The tears. Holding them back took everything in me but I was determined.
Determined to be strong.
I needed you. Your country needed you more.
Hi! I’m Sierra. If you’re visiting my site there’s a chance that you are already well aware of who I am. There’s also a chance that you haven’t the slightest clue. So many things describe me. Devoted Army wife, Loving Sister, Fur Mom. I’m just navigating through this thing called life with the people that I love and enjoying it as much as I can along the way. A little background on me. I’ve always loved writing, ever since I was a little girl. It is a passion that until this moment, I had let slip away from me. I love expressing myself through language. This is my new canvas and I absolutely cannot wait to get started! I hope you’ll join me on this journey called life and become one of my SWEETHEARTS ❤
xoxo-Sierra
SierraSweetheart 